Cold
by redrum and wine
Summary: Final Story of the KyouxYuki saga.  Ending of Upon Awakening and Sweet Dreams.


Ok, so this is it, the last in the Kyou/Yuki trilogy. I started this story out at 2 a.m. when I was trying to convince myself to go to sleep. I ended up finishing the story in my head and crying in the dark of my room. I was going to wait until later to write it, but I knew I would either forget it, or put it off, so I had to finish it tonight. It's now 4:35 on Saturday morning and I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. I hope you like the ending. This fic is a little bit longer (alot longer) than the other two parts of the story, but I hope that you'll read it through and like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.

Cold

Kyou rushed into the hospital, racing up the stairs as fast as he could. The doctors had called him to tell him that Yuki had flat-lined. He was in critical condition now, still clinging onto life. He pushed through the double doors and sprinted to room 408, racing to Yuki's bed, his hands grasping the rails. Yuki's deep eyes fluttered open as he caught a glimpse of Kyou. "Your out of breath." He gasped amused, pulling the oxygen mask away from his face. You shouldn't have left work for me." "I had to you idiot! The doctors call and tell me that you lost your pulse and then expected me to stay calm! I couldn't get any real answers out of them, so I had to come her myself!" Yuki looked up at him and smiled. "Don't looked so shocked!" Kyou growled out, glaring down at Yuki. "You know that I have to look after you. I don't trust these guys, they smell too clean." Yuki just huffed out a laugh before putting the oxygen mask back over his nose and mouth. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Kyou asked, "What happened?" "My lungs collapsed again." Yuki said tiredly around his mask. "I figured as much." Kyou muttered before turning to look out the window. He had been hospitalized for more than two months now, going in and out of bouts of exhausted semi-conscious medical routines. A lifetime of poor health and paralyzing asthma had left Yuki with a weak immune system and even weaker lungs. A small cold had ended him up in the hospital at the end of fall, which had quickly turned into the flu that had spread to pneumonia all in a matter of weeks, leaving him gasping for air. He had been on a respirator, but quickly declined the indignity of it all, despite everyone else's protests, and it had been taken away. Yuki was dying slowly, his body was no longer able to keep up with his mind and at thirty it had reached it's limit.

"I signed the forms." Yuki said quietly, looking down at his hands. "The next time I go into arrest, they're not to resuscitate me." Kyou turned around quickly. "What do you mean they're not to resuscitate you?!?" "They're not going to bring me back next time." Yuki said quietly looking up to Kyou's angry eyes. "What if I'm not ready to let you die yet?!? What if I don't want to let you go?!?" Kyou shouted, his voice carrying into the hall. "You'll just have to be ready." Yuki whispered. "I can't believe you! You're taking the coward's way out! Only weak, pathetic losers with no other options take the easy way out!" Kyou shouted, causing a nurse to stop in the hall and close the door to Yuki's room quietly. "My body can't take this anymore Kyou, I can't continue living this way. If it is my time to die, the it's my time to die." "What has Hatori said about all of this?!?" "He says that it's ultimately me decision and that he agrees with me in my original assessment that I don't have much longer anyway." "Of course he would say that," Kyou muttered, "he's a doctor after all." "Do not direct your anger at others Kyou. Please try to keep your temper under control, especially in this hospital." "Fuck this hospital! You're being a selfish, cowardly, idiot and not taking into consideration what your decision could mean to others!" "But it's _my_ decision Kyou." "What if I want to be selfish huh?!? What if I want to keep you here for awhile longer?!? I can't believe that you would…." Kyou's voice shook as he held onto the rail of the bed, "I can't believe that you would leave me alone again." "Kyou I…." Yuki tried to reach for his hand, but Kyou yanked it away, zipping up his jacket, he walked quickly to the door. "I'm going out. I'll stop by to see you again tonight." He muttered, his eyes downcast, before he stormed out of the door.

Kyou was outside a few blocks from the hospital that night when he received the call. He answered the phone and stopped when he heard the doctor's voice, Yuki had stopped breathing. Kyou's own breath caught in his chest as he dropped his phone and began to race towards the hospital. _I never got to tell him that I loved him._ They had been together for almost twelve years and he had never said it. Yuki said it often, and he meant it every time, but with Kyou it was always assumed. He had almost said it a few times, but stopped himself when he came close. Now as he raced through the cold December air, he could only think that now he might never get the chance to say it at all.

He ran through the automatic doors, pushing past doctors and patients alike, in too much of a hurry to wait for the elevators, he rushed up the stairs and was about to enter Yuki's room when he was stopped by a doctor. "Lemme go!" He screamed frantically. Kyou was out of breath as he frantically tried to get past him and into the room, but the doctor was stronger, and possibly even more determined to get him to listen. "Stop it and listen to me dammit!" the doctor shouted, pushing Kyou solidly into the wall. "He's not dead….yet." Kyou stopped struggling and looked up at the doctor, not trusting him. "What do you mean, _yet_?" The doctor relaxed his grip on Kyou's shoulders and looked down at him. "His breathing stopped about fifteen minutes ago. We followed standard procedure with his strict orders to refrain from life-support. But patient Sohma has somehow managed to pull himself back from the brink and managed to get himself breathing again." Relief washed over Kyou's face. "How long does he have?" "...Not long, a few hours at most." The doctor replied. "What…." Kyou paused to swallow the lump in his throat. "What will happen to him?" "Before long, his lungs will cease all function again and he will more than likely die before the night is through." Kyou nodded and looked at the oak door painfully. "Can I see him?" The doctor nodded and opened the door for Kyou and allowed him to walk through before gently closing it behind him.

Kyou walked over to the bed slowly. Yuki's face was ashen and pale, awash from the moonlight outside of his window. His breathing was ragged and strained. Kyou pulled a chair over to the bed, the scraping against the floor was enough to wake Yuki from his state. He looked over to Kyou as he gently lowered the bars of the bed and sat in a chair, the moon's rays glinting off the pools of liquid that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He sat down heavily as Yuki lifted his hand into the air. "….Hey." Yuki said, the brief word sparking a coughing fit. Kyou reached over and took his hand, barely trusting himself to speak. "Hey." He said gently, his voice shaky. A few seconds lapsed between them before "How dare you try to die without me being here." Kyou whispered. "That's why it felt so wrong…." Yuki muttered to himself. Kyou's grip tightened on Yuki's delicate hand. "Listen Yuki, I have to tell you something." Yuki's eyes fluttered closed and he had to force them back open again. "I….I" Kyou sighed. "I know." Yuki said, turning his face to him. "No, you don't know." Kyou snapped, his voice quivering. "I….I love you Yuki. I know I never told you, but I love you." "Like I said, I know." Yuki replied quietly. "I….I don't know what I'm going to do without you…..I need you Yuki." A tear quickly passed down his cheek, starting an unbidden stream of tears to follow in it's wake. Yuki reached up with his other hand and gently brushed a tear from Kyou's cheek. "You'll continue on as you always did. You'll live a happy life and you'll quickly forget about me. Don't worry." "The hell I will! Like I could ever forget you!" Kyou whispered fiercely, his orange eyes sparking a visible flame in the room. "You're the sole reason that I've survived this long…." _That's what makes this so hard_ Yuki thought to himself sadly. Kyou kissed Yuki softly, his warm lips meeting Yuki's colder ones, his tears pooling between them. "I love you Yuki." Kyou whispered again. "Like I said before, you dumb cat….I know….but thanks for saying it anyway….it's good to hear." Yuki smirked as his eyes fluttered closed, a gentle smile on his face.

Yuki died later that night.

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Kyou leaned against the heavy wooden fence outside of the Sohma family home. Yuki's memorial service was being held there today, and he wasn't even allowed to attend. Most of the Sohma family had already been through and left. Seeing them and feeling their pity was almost too much to bear, but Kyou was determined to stand his ground outside of the gates until it was over. Ayame had been the hardest, he had to be helped back outside by both Shigure and Hatori who had left with him to try to console him. Kisa and Hiro had been next to leave, holding hands as they went, followed closely by Momiji. They had all stopped to talk to him, but Kyou had ignored them, he hadn't said a word. Haru was next, but unlike the others, he didn't say a word to Kyou. He just walked over to the fence and leaned against it next to him, lighting a cigarette and talking a long drawl from it. Minutes ticked by slowly and uncomfortably for Kyou before Haru spoke. "Well now I've lost both of the people that I loved. First Rin….and now Yuki aswell." He sighed and took another drawl from his cigarette. Rin had died nearly five years ago, but not before the wedding and the family that Haru had promised to her. Haru's young daughter was barely seven and she was as beautiful as Rin. The loss of her mother had hit her hard, but she was as resilient as Haru and she was happy to have her daddy with her, if nothing else. "You need to stop with this angry silence Kyou, it's not going to help anyone." Haru said, dispelling a deep breath of smoke. Kyou clenched his fists and continued to stare at the ground, his shoulders shaking. "Everyone loses people Kyou, it's just a part of life. What if I had turned away from everyone after Rin died, what would have-" He didn't get to finish his sentence. Kyou's fist rammed hard into his jaw, sending his cigarette and Haru both flying to the ground. "Kyou picked up Haru by the front of his shirt, his collar bunched in his fists. "At least you have your daughter!" He screamed angrily. "At least you have Hitomi to remember her by! I have nothing! Nothing to remeber him!" Kyou shouted, angry tears welling in his eyes. "I have nothing left…." He whispered, his forehead coming the rest on Haru's chest, his hands loosening their grip on Haru's clothes. "It's almost as if the time I spent with him was just a dream..." "You have your memories." Haru said softly, reaching up to place his hand comfortingly on Kyou's back. "You have over ten years worth of memories to hold onto and to remind you that this time was real." He said gently. Kyou slowly raised his head back up from Haru's chest and leaned back against the fence again. Haru reached up to rub his cheek, grimacing. "Damn, after all this time, you can still throw a right hook that sends spots to my eyes." He muttered, crushing out his cigarette with his boot. "Think about what I said Kyou." And then he walked away too, just like that others had done.

Hours passed and Kyou was still leaning against the wooden barrier. He heard a rustle beside him and looked over to see Akito. "You will be allowed in just this once cat, now that the others have gone." He said, looking down his nose at Kyou before walking back towards the main house, the door to the gate slowly beginning to close behind him. Kyou quickly stepped in through the gates and into the courtyard he hadn't set foot in since he was four years old. He walked quickly to the main house and from there was led by a maid to a room lit dimly with candles. The strong smell of incense stung his nose as he sat on the floor directly in front of the picture of Yuki. The picture was slightly out-dated, a little more than a year old, before Yuki had started to let his hair grow out. He was sitting properly in the picture, a small smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes. Kyou instantly hated that picture. That was how they would remember him, cold, unsmiling, and distant. They wouldn't remember him as Kyou did, confident, happy, and warm. He heard the door slide open behind him but didn't look up to see who it was, he knew. His time in this house was up. He bowed his head slowly and walked out of the room and out of the gates of the house. Outside he stopped when he noticed a slight woman standing outside, looking at the barrier longingly. "Service is over." Kyou muttered to her, the light was too dim to clearly make her out, but he recognized he voice instantly. "….Kyou?" She said, walking closer to him. It was her alright, but Kyou couldn't really believe that she was here. "Tohru?!?" Kyou said, incredulous. "Yeah." She said tearfully. "I guess I was too late huh?" "Yeah." He said, looking down at her. "What are you doing here? The last I heard, you were in Osaka with your husband." "I... I was, but Yuki called me a few days ago and he told me the situation. I tried to get here as fast as I could, but….I was too late." She said, her voice trembling as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. "It's been so hard to travel anywhere lately, I've gotten so big I can barely walk to the store anymore." She said, "not that thats a valid excuse now." She said tearfully. Kyou looked down at her and noticed her protruding belly for the first time during the conversation. He hadn't seen Tohru since Rin had died, right after she had married and was pregnant with her first child. "C'mon, I'll take you to your car." Kyou said, patting her head softly. They walked down the path together in silence. "So what is it?" Kyou asked to break the sniffling silence. "What is what?" Tohru asked innocently. Kyou rolled his eyes and sighed. "The baby….is it a boy or a girl?" "Oh! It's a boy!" Tohru smiled and blushed, embarrassed. "That's...nice. What are you naming it?" Kyou asked, trying to distract himself more than anything. "Well, I'm letting my husband name him because I named our daughter, and he really liked the name Yuki, but considering the circumstances, he said that he would probably change it. He said that he would hate to force Yuki's spirit back into this world so soon as a reincarnation without having a true break from it first." She continued to blush as she draped he hands softly over he abdomen. Kyou stopped and turned to her. "He would be honored you know," he whispered softly. "What?" "Yuki….he would have been honored to be reborn as your son. He always loved you Tohru." Kyou said, his defenses weakening again. "Tohru looked up at him happily. "You think so?" "Yeah," Kyou stumnbled. "I do."

He saw her off to her car and hugged her before watching her drive away with the promise to call him soon. He walked the few miles home, his foot steps echoing across the pavement as his mind clouded with thoughts from the past twelve years and thoughts of a baby that was soon to possess his beloved's name.

He made it home and into the shower on auto-drive, not thinking and unfeeling as he went about his nightly routine. He didn't really take notice until he walked into their shared bedroom that night to sleep. He stopped in the doorway as the powerful smell that was purely Yuki invaded his nose. He walked over to his closet and opened the door, picking up one of his shirts and bringing it to his face. He breathed in the scent as tears pricked his eyes. He dropped the shirt and angrily hit the wall. "How dare you! How dare you leave me with this!" Kyou screamed, pulling his fist out of the hole in the wall to rip down all of the hangers in the closet,taking his burning anger out the only way he knew how. "How dare you die on me! YOU FUCKING COWARD! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!" he cursed again and again. "How dare you…." He cried softly as he slid to the floor amidst Yuki's clothes. "How dare you…." He sobbed, his wet hair falling into his face. Some how he managed to make it into bed, he didn't remember when or how and he pulled Yuki's pillow to him, bringing it to his face and breathing in his scent, crying as he fell to sleep.

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He shuffled up the sidewalk, his feet stumbling in their slow and steady gate. He cautiously made his way up the steps, finding his keys and shakily turning the key into the lock. He opened the door, pausing to place his jacket into the hall closet before dropping the mail onto the table. He picked up the newspaper, scanning the headlines slowly. Nothing new or uplifting to report. He exhaled deeply before heading to the bathroom, clicking on the light. The bright glare against the bathroom tiles blinded him momentarily as he leaned against the sink. Looking into the mirror, the full brunt of his age finally hit him. Kyou was sixty-five. An image of himself as a youth appeared before him in the mirror. Reaching up slowly, he touched the glass, but the mirage faded as quickly as it had appeared. He was left staring at nothing but his aged reflection. By the time he was forty, Kyou's fiery hair had turned to a deep steel gray and by the time he was fifty, it was streaked with a fine silver. Now at sixty-five, it was starkly white and almost shaggy in appearance, reaching down to touch the tops of his ears. His orange-tinged eyes looked worn and the wrinkles of his face contoured to his fatigue. He had aged, time had gotten away from him so quickly. Looking down at his stick-thin arms and his weathered hands, he sighed as he picked up the medicine bottle from the sink, swallowing two aspirin dry and heading to his bedroom.

He opened the door and slowly backed out of his house shoes. He didn't bother to turn the light on. The gray light streaming in from his closed blinds was enough to see by. He made his way to his bed and sat down with a heavy sigh. He looked at his nightstand, to a worn and well-handled picture frame. He picked it up, sighing as he rubbed the dust from the glass. The picture was almost fifty years old now. It was an old snap-shot of three people taken at the summer home, probably by Shigure. The sun was bright and the beach could be seen from the viewer. Kyou was in the background, glaring back at the camera, his hair sopping wet and an angry look on his face. Yuki could be seen on the left, a polite smile under smiling eyes as the sun glanced off of his pale skin. Tohru was in the middle, her beaming, laughing smile, the main focus of the picture. Kyou sighed heavily and straightened the support on the back of the frame before placing it back onto the small wooden table. He looked over to another, much larger picture on the table before picking it up as well. The edges were worn and brown, bending softly against the frame. Kyou shakily ran his hand across the face of the glass before gently easing the large 11x15 print out of the back of the frame and holding the picture in his lap. It was a picture of Yuki at the winter festival. It had been taken when he was twenty-five. His silken hair and purple eyes were a sharp contrast to his fair winter skin and to the deep purple, blue, and white hakama he was wearing in the picture. His hand was resting on his hip in a sauntering pose and his eyes were laughing, a true and genuine smile was reflected across his face. Kyou didn't know who had taken the photo. He had found it in his pocket when they had returned home from the festival. It had been such a cold, clear day. A tear landed onto the middle of the enlarged picture and slowly rolled to the end corner before dripping off to the carpet at his feet. Kyou closed his eyes, his body shuddering with un-surpressable tears. He leaned back onto the bed before curling onto his side, the picture held protectively against his chest. He closed his eyes and before he gently drifted off for the last time, Kyou could swear that he smelled Yuki's scent in the bed at his side.

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_For years I've wandered lost through this darkness without you to guide me. _

_Now it is your light I see, leading me on into eternity._

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Ok, so what did you think? I dunno, it made me cry. It's assumed that Kyou died in the end. Well, it's not even assumed...he just died. So yeah, this story is over for me now. I want to thank all of my readers, and especially my friend Kasey, for whom this story was started for in the first place. Love to you all and leave me a review.

Ja ne

-Tani


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